March Madness has been almost a daily occurrence for the past month, which means I’ve been watching much more live TV than I usually do. This has led to me consuming more and more advertising.
Some commercials are pretty good and I don’t mind seeing them over and over again, but there is one company. One horrible, horrible company, whose advertisements make my blood pressure skyrocket and send me into a bout of hypertension.
Now don’t get me wrong: The redesign of the Buick SUV has been successful and I don’t mind the look of their vehicles. I have learned quite a bit from these advertisements. Buick has caught up to competitors with many high-tech features such as parallel parking assistance, forward collision alerts and much more. With all these features, an attractive design, and five-star NHTSA safety ratings, perhaps I would consider getting myself a Buick one day.
Just kidding, I will NEVER purchase a Buick. Why? Because of their horrible advertisements that I’ve been bombarded with for the last month. I don’t usually take this kind of stand simply based on commercials. I can usually forgive companies for bad advertising, but Buick commercials are just SO horrible. I would rather buy a $500, 1992 Honda Civic from a shady dude on Facebook Marketplace than give my money to Buick, their advertisements are that lame. And I don’t mean to sound this bitter, I don’t usually complain this much, but they’ve gotten on my last nerve.
There have been many poor commercials from Buick over the years, but these are the two that have been on repeat during the tournament. Make sure you watch the commercials first so you know what I’m whining about:
It’s really the first three lines that set up the rest of the commercial:
“Ughh that spin class was brutal.”
“Well you can try using the Buick’s massaging seat.”
“Oooh yeah, that’s nice!”
These are the problems that plague the world today. Not world hunger or anything like that. The problem is that this lady had a brutal spin class. Fortunately, her Buick’s massaging seat was able to solve her first-world problem.
I’m not annoyed by her, I’m annoyed by Buick’s assumption that this is the kind of issue that needs solving. They seem to be out of touch with the average American and the ways that people actually talk to each other. Plus, it wasn’t the spin class that was brutal, it’s the writing in this commercial. I can’t take it. It’s so forced and so, so bad.
The first guy’s Buick parks itself into a pretty tight spot. That’s sooo him. The second guy knows where he’s going. That’s sooo him. Let’s stop pretending a basic sense of direction is a character trait. That’s like if I said, “I eat, breathe, and sleep. That’s soooo me.”
Being able to do something that everyone does isn’t a trait that makes you unique, even if you’re doing it in your 2021 Buick Encore GX. The ad ends with a mom somehow fitting an entire soccer team, except for one kid, into her Buick and bringing them to the big game. The soccer coach asks if she brought all the kids in her Buick. After she says yes, he replies, “that’s sooo you.” Again, not a character trait. If anything, the thing that sets her apart is that she’s always late. The coach checked his watch and the game was about to start when she finally showed up with the entire roster. And the MUSIC! The obnoxious, pointlessly upbeat tune that plays in the background of Buick commercials only adds to how horrible they are. Overall, it’s real bad.
At any point during the creation of these advertisements, Buick could have figured out that they were awful and tried something else. Someone had to come up with the idea for these ads and could have decided at that point that they were bad. Then, they had to pitch their idea to someone for final approval. And they somehow thought it was good. Even after all of this, they had to film the commercials and still thought they were just fantastic.
Buick reinvented their SUVS, now they should reinvent their commercials.
There’s a good chance that none of my words in this article will resonate with my readers. You may think I’m irrationally pissed off about a car commercial. You may be right. I’m at peace with that, but I needed to get this off my chest. And if I can convince at least one of you not to purchase a Buick for your next vehicle, I’ve done my job.