Black women tend to get the reputation of being an “Angry Black Woman”, but what really makes us so angry? What is it about our face, body language, or tone in our voice, that makes us so angry? The fact that many of us have gone through life situations that have changed our perspectives on life, men, family, and love?
Where did this stereotype come from?
Why aren’t white women titled angry? Why can’t women of color be angry about something without a huge title attached to it? Aren’t we allowed to feel, cry, and be angry in peace without it having a stigma attached to it?
Women of color tend to go through things in their life that effects their attitude. However, there is no reason for us to be labeled as angry. Women of color have always been given the short end of the stick when it comes to personality traits. Just because I’m not smiling 24/7 doesn’t mean I’m angry or just because I’m not submissive doesn’t make me any different. It is almost as if black women aren’t supposed to feel anything. I know throughout history we have been seen as strong individuals, but that isn’t the case all the time and it shouldn’t be. We’re never given the time to grieve and understand our past or how it affects our present.
In The Myth of the Angry Black Women, writer Iyanla Vanzant speaks on why women of color aren’t given the chance to reflect on their feelings in depth: “Black women are not expected to feel disappointed or hurt. We are often not given the time to be sad or to grieve. We are not entitled to feel violated or diminished. We are not expected to experience or express feelings of being lost or confused or, in some instances, human. These emotional experiences do not align with the labels of mammy, savior of the race, beast of burden or the over-sexualized Jezebel.”
Women are continuously criticized in all aspects–social media, jobs, schools. So when we do come off as angry, people are threatened and then want to label us “angry black women.”
So all black women, young or old–cry. Scream if you need to. Do whatever you have to do in order to feel better, regardless of how people look at you or brush you off. Point out the obvious in every little thing. Someone spelled your name wrong and tried to brush it off? Make sure they put some respect on your name and spell it right. Someone skipped you? Let them know. So what if you get titled? Love every aspect of you and don’t dare let others make you feel wrong for expressing how you feel.