The Case for My Babysitter’s a Vampire: The Movie

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*Spoilers*

If you were cognizant during the late 2000s to early 2010s, odds are you remember the hysteria which surrounded the popular teen book/movie series: The Twilight Saga. I vividly remember watching the first movie when I was eight and not having any idea what was going on, but thoroughly enjoying the scene in which all the vampires were playing baseball during a thunderstorm. I also remember consciously making the decision to think that Twilight was stupid when I was around the age of ten because I had realized that Twilight was for “basic” girlie-girls to enjoy. This was at the dawn of my extreme tomboy-not-like-other-girls phase, so I forbid myself from liking anything that I deemed too mainstream and girlie. But I am not here to talk about that.

Instead I would like to discuss a byproduct of the Twilight frenzy, a movie that has for years gone unappreciated by the masses and which I intend to bring to light here and now. That movie is My Babysitter’s a Vampire: The Movie.

Perhaps the name rings a bell. Perhaps like me you remember this movie premiering on the Disney Channel, and now that you are really thinking about it, you distinctly remember it premiering on the Disney Channel over the summer, and now you are confused because that movie was clearly a Halloween movie, so why, praytell, do you remember watching it for the first time on June 10, 2011?

Unlike many of the nostalgic Halloween classics that people like to drone on about around this time of year like Halloweentown, and Halloweentown 2: Kalabar’s Revenge and so on, My Babysitter’s a Vampire was actually not written or released as a Disney Channel Original Movie at all. It was initially released by the Canadian Television Network: Teletoon on October 9th, 2010 because it is, as I said, CLEARLY a Halloween movie (why Disney didn’t just wait another four months and air it in October of 2011, I can not be sure, but I digress. Twilight was originally released in theaters in November, so I suppose vampires can be a year round phenomena, but the point still stands).

Before I go any further, this is a disclaimer: Do not watch this movie if you expect to see photorealistic C.G.I. or impressive practical effects and makeup because, at the end of the day, this is a made-for-T.V. kids movie about a babysitter who is also a vampire. That being said, allow me to explain to you why I think this movie is fantastic and why I think everyone should watch it:

1.)“Dusk”

In the My Babysitter’s a Vampire Cinematic Universe, there is a movie franchise called “Dusk, “ which pays homage to the Twilight Saga. While other parodies to come out of this era were heavy handed and just plain mean (I’m looking at you, Vampires Suck), the elaborate recreation of various iconic Twilight scenes scattered throughout the movie make for a laugh, without it feeling like the writers were just lazily jabbing at how dumb the idea of sparkling vampires is or bullying Kristen Stewart for not being expressive enough.

2.) Jokes that still hold up

People will often talk about how when they go back and watch movies or T.V. shows they liked when they were kids they will hear jokes that went over their head and discover a new appreciation for the media as an adult. While I do find that this holds true in some regards, I still find that when I go back and watch movies and T.V. shows most of the jokes just come off as silly or dumb. And while I’m not going to sit here and pretend that some of the jokes in My Babysitter’s a Vampire aren’t absolutely awful (like all the different variations of the word “babe,” the character Benny rattles off throughout the film), a lot of the jokes land. When I rewatched this movie a few days ago I found myself struggling not to laugh at loud on multiple occasions, because I didn’t want to wake my roommate.

3.) A satisfying explanation as to why the teenage vampires are spending all of their time in high school

Listen, I think everyone’s biggest problem with Twilight is that it does not make any sense for an immortal being to spend their infinite days on Earth just reliving high school over and over again, and if that isn’t your biggest problem with Twilight, then it should be. However, My Babysitter’s a Vampire at least gives a comprehensive explanation as to WHY there are Vampires terrorizing a high school. Obviously the vampires need to feast on the souls of the “Dusk,” fans as a part of an ancient ritual, and the only way to do that which makes practical since is to hold a screening of “Dusk 3,” in the high school auditorium and sell the exact number of tickets to match the amount of souls which need to be acquired.

Basically, what I am saying here is that I never hear anyone talking about this movie. Maybe it’s because it was released around the time most of my peers were outgrowing the Disney channel, thus they didn’t see this movie and didn’t get to appreciate it the way I do. Maybe it’s because it’s actually terrible and I am a goblin with a refined appreciation for terrible things.

All I can say is that if you are in the mood to feel spooky, if you want to relive a simpler time when the world was only concerned with making fun of a movie about sparkly teenage vampires, if you want to laugh at some silly jokes, then I recommend you pop some corn, crack open a bag of Halloween candy, and give this movie a watch.

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