Online Classes vs. Facial Hair: A Comparison

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Lots of change has come since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. There have been good times, bad times, and everything in between, but after getting laid off from my job and having all of my classes moved online, I immediately knew what one of my social distancing activities would be: I was not going to shave my face for at least two weeks.

Whenever I worked up the nerve to try and grow a beard before, I got the sense that most people didn’t want to be seen with me in public. It’s not a pretty sight, therefore, social distancing seemed like the perfect time to make another attempt. I knew I wouldn’t need to be presentable for a long time, so I decided to give it a shot.

Around the same time, we got word that all of our classes would be moved online. As my facial hair slowly grew, so did my animosity towards online classes. I’m well aware that they were moved only out of necessity, but it doesn’t change the fact that they are no replacement for in-person classes. I was thinking the other day, about some striking similarities between my experience with online classes and my facial hair. Here’s what I came up with:

  1. A lack of growth

My facial hair tends to suffer from a lack of growth. No matter how long I let it grow out, it always seems to result in the same lackluster result. While it’s starting to sprout up on most of my face, it doesn’t come in with the right thickness. It just leaves people having to squint at my face and wonder if I’m trying to grow a beard.

Since the beginning of online classes, I have started to feel a lack of personal growth. I thrive off of in-person interaction and have found that this experience simply cannot be replicated in an online environment. Although I’ll admit that it’s kind of nice to be able to sometimes go to class in my boxers and wear only a shirt (my secret is revealed!), I still find myself missing the in-person experience.

Despite how hard professors are trying, the interactions in online classes just don’t cut it. I don’t feel like I’m getting all that I should be out of my education, and it’s a real bummer.

  1. Patchiness

Despite the fact that my overall facial hair growth is pretty awful, I need to look at the positives. Some patches have come in much better than they did last time I tried to grow it out, but it still isn’t complete.

This is very similar to my experience with online classes. To begin with, I’m very fortunate that I planned on taking an online class this semester anyways. I had never taken one before and it was a bit of a risk, but it’s been a good experience and has prepared me for our unforeseen switch to a completely remote education. This helped me see what an online class is supposed to look like and gives me something to compare the rest of my classes to. So, 20th Century Migration has been business as usual. This represents the portion of my beard that’s growing properly, but not all classes have been this way. Similar to my beard, the transition to online hasn’t been a complete success. Many classes had assignments that worked much better in person. It is a struggle to replicate them in a remote setting, even with the assistance of Zoom.

For example, in one of my classes we just created an elevator pitch to introduce ourselves. In person, this would have been a great assignment, but it was very strange to be introducing ourselves to our phone camera and then uploading it to Blackboard.

  1. It’s just not coming together

Despite varying thicknesses and amounts of hair, my beard somewhat covers most of my face. I’m close to being able to pull it off. The biggest issue? Nothing grows right in the middle of my chin. I can’t act like I’m growing a beard, a goatee, or any other variation since there’s nothing on my chin. The world’s longest mutton chops? No, that wouldn’t be a good look for me.

It’s just not coming together. This is how I feel about online classes. There are bits and pieces that are working, but it just doesn’t feel like the complete experience I’m hoping for.

Evidence of no growth in the middle of my chin

That being said, I know how little time professors had to prepare and how hard they’ve worked to completely transition to online classes. I appreciate and respect everything that they’ve done. I’m sick of being bitter about it and just want to make the most of it. After all, I have no other option.

Therefore, just before finishing up this article, I decided to take this beard vs. online class symbolism to the next level and shave for the first time in weeks. I figured a freshly shaved face would encourage me to look for a fresh new perspective on online classes. Life’s too short to be bitter and to grow awful facial hair.

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Matthew McFall is a senior Communication Studies major minoring in Business Administration. He is from a small New Hampshire town called Henniker... Not sure if y'all have ever heard of it. Matthew previously attended the Golf Academy of America in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina to become a teaching professional, but returned to New England College in 2017. He hopes to work in higher education when he graduates from NEC this May. When he's not in school, Matthew may be found on a golf course or skiing at Pat's Peak. He also enjoys spending time with his family, his friends, and his lovely girlfriend of over six years.
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